Happy Birthday to Me~~~
A nice morning to start with .. with my dear and his ai xin breakfast .. ^^ .. wasn't expected it ... *yummy* .. its so sweet of him ~~ *Thx a million* ...
Following is work ~~~ then later home sweet home for a nap before picking dear up @ ard 5 .. Why? .. *haha* coz baby nissan is wif me .. initially was wanting to collect the LMSC cadets manual from HTA de .. but since they do not have enuff.. have to wait till fri ...
Tonight dinner @ Sakura Intl Buffet ~~ first time there .. wonder what's nice ~~ hehe
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [12:47 PM]
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Am I really what it seems???
I seems like I am alright ... I am okay ... I can handle everything ... but I am really getting my breakdown soon ~~~ ... Still in the mist of examinations but problems are still surfacing again and again~~~ I tried my best ~~ but .. What do I get back in return?? Helping people with their problems and ended up creating more problems for myself?? Or rather instead of helping anyone .. I am creating more problems?
Am I really that useless ... Am I really that cmi??
I really don't know what is right from wrong anymore .... But I know I am deeply hurted~~ ....
Being told those things only meant to say that I am materialistics and expecting alot ... Am I really one? .... Am I really giving you pressure?? Am I really such a person ?? .... The whole time.. these just keep ringing in my head .. and nothing elses ... I am really at a loss of words ... I really do not know what to do ~~~ Am I really neglecting you?? Am I doing all the wrong things these while?? ... I really felt like I am the caused of alot of unhappiness you had ... with friends .. with your family .. with everyone elses... The more that I want to do to help .. the more trouble I seems to create ....
Being squashed like tuna between two pieces of bread really tough .. I really do not know how or what to do ~~~ .... Trying my best .. but end up making more mess ~~ ... I am stressed up~~~ worrying for my studies ... worrying that I maybe the cause of alot of things ... I really do not want things to be this way ... if these continues .. it really gonna marks the end for me ~~
I am just very simple .. wanting to be a little blissful ger being in the arms of my loved one ~~~ being cared and pampered ... and seeing all my friends happy ...
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [4:42 PM]
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Love is still in the Air ~~~ ^^
2nd day since the previous blog ...*hehe* .. a piece of good news to share .. thou is too sudden... but I am now a blissfully in luv de yu er ~~~ And my dear luv ... Bear Bear *blush* .... I also donno how to explain but .. it just happened ~~~ ^^ Things started out nice ... and its still nice now ... except for some "problems" .... The usual concern .. but I trust him~~ ^^ ... And I know ... since I have taken this step ... I will be committed ... to work the best wonders which ke ai yu will and can ~~~ "I work miracles ~~~" *LOL*
Maybe this is what people call the "honeymoon" period ... but as for how long it would be... had to depends on individual le ~~~ or rather both parties ~~~ can be forever,.... can be just spilt seconds ... can be days or months .. who knows .. but I know at least for now .. I am being pampered ~~~ Loved ~~~ *blush*
Hope for the best for everyone elses too ~~~ Especially to all my friends around too ~~~ Jas n Jin, Yana, Ting, Chun, Wen .. and many many more ... Don worry if your name is not here.. it doesn't mean thatyou are forgotten.. just that ... too mani le ~~ ^^
Yesterday went to bowling @ OCC and brought them the honeydew sago that I had made ... Was happy to see that it was not bad ~~~ .. >.< .. nex on the line would bb mango pudding ~~~ woo hoo~~ but that should be after my project submission.. which die die by nex wed I must send out ... >.< ... my SEP ... still stuck~~~Some one help`~~~~
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [12:34 AM]
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Love is in the Air~~~~
Blog updating time ~~~ Quite awhile since last blog .. *haha* .. had been to busy lately to blog ... nothing too unusual happened for the past 1 week or so .. except ... >.< .... a new discovery ... which I find "bu ke shi yi" .... but well, that's human.... we change n flicker all our life .... taking different detours or route in life ... making different decision ... making different realisation ...
I really enjoyed these few days .. never had I felt so pampered for a very long time .. it really makes me wanna cry .. *touched* .. thou to others, it may meant nothing.. but I am not expecting much .. just a little pamper can get this fishy very happy ~~~ The care and concern showered ... *blush ..happy* ... Sweetie~~~
Well, this issue had never come to my mind before,... never ever before would I had thot that he would fall for me .. *blush* .. but in reality .. he did .. I was shocked ... ^^ .. but its sweet~~~ Din't realised anything different .. din tinking of anything along this line .. but it just this sudden realisation ... ^^ ... its really nice to know that there is still someone out there that dotes u dearly ..
A decision I am to make .. whether to accept or reject ... thou, I would like to ... but.. things seems too fast ... that I lacks the confidence .. esp .. what had happened earlier prior to these .... he feelings for her (aka xxxx)... another xxxx feelings towards him ... my reaction towards the other (aka ex).. I do not want to rush into any decision and end up hurting him or even anyone elses around me ... hurting pple is the last thing I would ever want to do ~~~ T.T ...Thou I know is quite unfair for him at this point of time ..but I am not ready ... with all the stress from exams, my phobia towards love (something that hurts me lotsa) .. I choose to avoid the declaration of my decision till date .. till after my exams .. which is like a day before my exams .. Thanks for the understanding ~~~
Birthday~~~ meaning I would be another yr older ~~~ .... thou its like another 1 and the half mths more ... but somehow .. I am having mix feelings ... How would this year bday be like ?? The usual silence in the past? Or one with numerous surprises? or wad?? ... I wish to be celebrating the bday wif all my frds ... *prezziessssss* haha .... time to start thinking of wad pressie le .. what do I want this year?? ... I do not know ... but i am aiming a watchie woh .. *hint hint* .. haha .. its a nice white watch from Swatch .. but its ex ~~~ haha ... A BMW would be nice... haha .... *so materialistic* ... bad fishy~~~ ... no prezzie nvm.. just i all my friends ..... ~~~
Tomorrow working till 1pm.. then needa go back NTU to collect my lappie ... what shld i do after that?? ... Feel like getting shoes~~~~ woo hoo .. my trackshoes T.T .... my sandals T.T ... so mani shoes .... needa shop for clothes too le ~~ running out of clothes .. wakkakaka .... I am mad le.. like going on a shopping spree ~~~ .. *my poor pocket* ... lol ...
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [11:52 AM]
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Its a long long story~~~
Recently... nothing major happened... just some things here and there ...
[1] Wednesday .... Jas got attached after remaining single for so long .. and the guy.. is none other than jin, the person that had stand by her for this 1+year .... Hope everything turn out well for the both of them ....
[2] Bear and Ting ... still as usual .. in a very confusing state ..... *hai*
Things are happening around me .... which doesn't make me very comfortable .. but nevertheless, I had decided not to tink about it anymore .. Life goes on ... *saying is easier than done* .. alas ...
Yesterday, went for a cycling trip in ubin .. and for the first time ever in ubin, I fell .. Why?? Cause of a tupid idiot ... GUY .. he is really very idiot .. I had let him have the way on the left ... and went down on the right instead ... in the end, he turn over my side while I was half way thru and knock rite into my bike... Seeing me fall ... and also causing Chun to nearly fall as well.. This idiot never even offer to help nor did he say sorry ... He is really such a tupid idiot ... *what comes round goes round* ... he better be careful.... just wait for his rightful desserts ~
After cycling, went home and bath before going over to krislan .... was so tired ~~ .... reached home at around 4+am .. went str to bed after bathing ... and then talked to bear ~~~ but seems like the phone was cut halfway ... *not too sure than.. was 90% unconcussed* ... he and ting .. ~~ hai~~~ >>> Don't know what to say .. just let nature takes its course bah ....
While on the other hand, Naz was also very funny recently.. he and his funny sms-es ... *sometimes* .. out of the blue and ask me .. when am I getting a boifrd ... -.-" ... Kor ar ... please la ... I am a no-body-want fishy~~~ don't ask me that question again ... it hurts ~
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [9:55 AM]
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What's wrong with everyone?
What is happening to everyone these days ???
First was the incident of yester ~~~ Ending up with 3 people crying and some hurt... Was happily enjoying out ourselves @ the Minds Cafe ... But after leaving the area for beancurd, things started abit tense ... When going home, its the ultimate ... Usual problem with transportation ... But this time, is more problematic ... ... its such as hurtful session ... din expect things to be this way ... after all the faces and annoyance ... ended up with 4 person going home in bear's car .. But its was very tense ...
I was very disappointed and upset over what had happened ... I do not mind stating it outright here .. even if it meant to annoy anyone or hurt anyone .... I admit I was wrong too .. but why must things be turn out this way ... Bear is not obliged to send anyone home ... But as a gentleman, he did not decline ... Darren knowing the situation had "lied" that he is meeting his friends to solve the awkness ... Yana offered to go home herself ... Ting offered to go home herself ... but, being the most mature ... not a single word was mentioned ... Maybe the intention was there or maybe not ... But .. at least I dont feel so ... *disappointed* Felt that being a guy ... its very ungentleman of you behaviouring like this ....
I had the thot of just walking off since I am the last man .. no one will realised until its too late ... But I know if I had done that ... things would be worst ... But neither do I wan anyone to be going home on their own esp. Yana and Ting .... Yana being still injured and she is a ger and also with her house area not a very safe place ... Its definitely a NO NO ... For Ting, being the youngest and a ger ... its even more NO NO to letting her go home herself .... I myself do not mind taking my own public transport home ... and even if I need to walk home myself .. I would .. rather than putting a good frd in difficulty. I do not wish for the same things to happen again .. n again .. I feel really hurt ...
Reached home .... thou I went upstairs, but I did not go into the house .. I jus stayed on the 12th floor and looked around ... Did thot of how nice it would be if everything will end ... *as I looked downstairs* .. But I know, if I do that ... I am hurting those around me who care for me ... I do not wan to hurt my frds, my family and those who cared ... I just hope to everyone to be happy .. But just seems that what I had been doing seems to be wrong ... If I had never stepped into the lives of these friends may they will be happier .... I bring nothing but sorrows to them ... Felt like a failure .... I should just get the hell out of their lives ... let them lead the peaceful and happy life that had before ~~~ w/o me ard to create sadness .. things will be wonderful ...
Today, started off in a very bad shape... It took me >1hr 30mins to get to school ... Reached school at around 10am ... The bus was horrible ... SBS7278X ... Nvm about that .. its not a big issue ... After school went home to put down my things before going out again wif Jas to visit Jin in Sentosa ... Thou Jas mentioned about Jin not being the person for her and so on ... I know she do have feelings for him .. just that there are just some things that is not within her control ... things went on fine till dinner till go home ... Not sure what happened to them .... one msg me he is offing everything till tml nite .. the other msg me that she is pissed .... What is happening .. ts just round the corner in less than half or an hour .. it took a drastic turn ... its the same as yester night .... one moment we are happily playing games .. next moment .. all so tensed up .... and sad and hurt ....
Yana was another case today. Got a call from Bear in the afternoon telling me that she had called him and said that some things happened at her work ... and she was crying .. but all these .. I do not know .... sometimes, I really feel ... am I a good friend?? Called her shortly after my conversation with bear .. but .. she hang my call and subsquently did not pick up ... When she ultimately called me back ... she just say "nothing, nothing" .... Even whenn she reveal later .. it was just not really she wanted to say .. but rather i keep asking ... Maybe I am really not a good soulmate ... not a good confidate ...
Sometimes I thot I do know my friends well .. I tired to know each and everyone of my friends .. their likes, dislikes, behaviour, be their confidate where needed, help when needed and so on .... but seems these seems not good euff .. I am really not a good friend ... Maybe its better if I am myself ... just myself alone ... Not going ard pestering others .. going ard hurting others ... They will all live better if I had never exist before in their memories ...
~~ Wish for you, my friends, happiness ever .... ~~
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [10:23 PM]
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Ponder about Life
It had been so long since I last blog and there are so much that had happened over these times ... though its just a short 1 month plus, but ... so much had happened .... around me, around my friends and many more.
On the eve of the 3years 9months relationship, everything ended with me till now still pondering over why .... But nevertheless, I know I wont get the answer ... decided to cast it aside and focus my efforts on other things .... Chinese New Year preparations then ... Even CNY this year was abit quieter ... I do not feel the CNY mood despite roaming the streets of Chinatown .... Families decided to forgo the usual tradition of having steamboat together. In the end, we had our reunion at our respective house.... Mine, we also decided not to have steamboat either, thus, I did some ordering and do the remaining cooking ... Luckily the food was not bad ~~~
Organised a guild reunion dinner sometime back.. the response was so much better than previous outings .. maybe cause everyone was in festive mood and misses each other .. the turnout was around 15 person, includ. rare guest like mousy, kever, and nitz ... adding to the new family was banana didi and gal ~~ Dinner was held at Gallery by the Straits .. a resturant off the busy town area .. located in SAF yatch club behind Sembawang camp ~~~ Food was not bad quite nice ... the scene was nice ~~~ as I like the sea alot ... Maybe that's why I am Dolphin After dinner, went over to OCC for bowling and pool .. there JJ joined us.. another rare guest ~~~
Ended my temp assignment on the 26th of Feb ~~~ taking a break before I was asked to go back this morning .. wef nex week onwards ~~~ I will be back on job ~~~ My projects deadline are drawing nearer .. with the bindings and couriering needs to be done ... I am left with only slightly around 2 weeks ... 5 more documents for SEP and some touch-up for ISP ... and my fate is sealed ~~~~ putting in my best effort and hoping for the best .. clearing this last year and I am ready to embark on my next phase of life .. starting my career ~~~
flew into your heart from DreamyDolphin @ [11:13 AM]
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